Am I or am I not..

Its such a weird thought
what am I trying to sought
it lies there in front of me
but I wish to see it not

will someone wake me up
tell me its a dream
I promise not to sleep
if you just tell me this is a dream

can this be true although I wish it were not
but it tells me, its over n I have lost
not that it was mine not that I tried
but I still feel the loss, a thought that seem to have died

there’s agony on the other side
that anguish is perhaps more than my tide
can I wish for it to subside
with a hope that this wish He wouldn’t override